Happiness is a Choice

I didn’t have enough sleep this past week. Hopefully, that changes next week because let’s face it, we need good sleep — it’s just good old science.

I ate an Asian Wonton salad from Corner Bakery today. It was the best 500 calories ever. I ran into an old health & wellness teacher. I didn’t last very long with her and I didn’t really finish my free sessions with her as sponsored by my boss.

Today, it felt different when I saw her. We greeted each other, “Happy New Year!” And hugged like two long lost friends. She’s all about positivity and I admire that about her but my mind was unable to comprehend that she can be the best teacher for me because firstly, I was filled with anxiety and depression at the time and secondly, my boss paid for the sessions and I felt obligated and probably spied on knowing that they know each other very well.

She walked up to us later when she was leaving and asked what our plans for the year. My closest friends at work and I all echoed the same words, “Work, work work.” My former teacher laughed, offered if she can do once-a-week classes in our building. I surprised myself when I said, “Yes, absolutely! Let’s do that!” She was surprised, too.

I guess, the bottomline is, no matter how stressful my job is, there’s always room for happiness. It’s a choice, I understand that now and it’s the best choice.

Perfection leads to nowhere. It’s never going to be the same day every day even the routine because there’s always going to be a curveball.

I commit to let go of perfectionism and just stay in the right course.

I smoke on and off, mostly on but it’s not giving me the best results, health-wise. My 31-year old self comprehends that it’s best to quit but it’s never easy. I always say that and I always fail.

Tonight, I decided it’s best to just do it. I’m wearing my nicotine patch tonight, excited for the vivid dreams, hopefully happy dreams.

It’s okay not to wear the best workout clothes. The important thing is getting on that stationary bike and cycle — 20, 30 minutes is fine. I don’t have to kill myself.

It feels good, but as my body adjusts to all these positive changes, it’s also in pain. Mostly, it’s my head.

I tell myself, “It’s okay.” It’s not a marathon. One day at a time. One second at a time.

I choose happy. It will always be the best choice. It’s okay. I am okay.

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