What I Want Now vs What I Want Most


Chicken Tikka Masala, Chips with Guacamole Dip, Pita Bread with Hummus, Smoked Salmon, Chicken Breast, Quinoa Salad

The items mentioned above are what I had for lunch. No. I didn’t go to an international buffet nor I paid for the food. It’s called Costco food samplers on a weekend.

There are a few places I consider to be my candy store, besides the candy store. There’s Best Buy because I am victim of consumerism and gadgets are my toys, there’s Walmart because everything I want or need is in Walmart. Then, there’s Costco. Except when going inside Costco with an empty stomach and empty cart result to an empty credit card.

I walk in to Costco on a busy Saturday afternoon, walk around to get food samplers, but, nothing fancies me.

The “no cart” rule does not give me the freedom to go aisle by aisle and buy whatever it is I think that I need, which is why I come out spending $15 on a spinach and chicken salad with poppyseed dressing and organic bananas. I had free lunch and did not abuse my credit card. Win-win.

For the most part, I did not crave much on anything. I make my regular protein shake. I ran out of my coconut/almond milk so I settle for the last few drops of whole milk. I turns out to be a good decision because it created a consistency similar to that of a strawberry-banana milkshake.

I sit on the stationary bike and 30 minutes and 1 episode of Life.Church later, I sweat and satisfied with the 300 calories I burned. A phone call and an email from work occupied my time for the next two hours.

Sleep has not been friendly. I watch a new episode of ‘The Crown’ on Netflix and halfway through Prince Philip’s adventures, I fall asleep, only to wake up half an hour later. I am restless, but, I know the only way to sleep for real is to close my eyes. The clock on my side tick tocks and three hours later, I am still fighting the urge to grab my phone and read the news.

I turn off the TV, I turn off the lights, but, nothing works.

My mother calls it a “healing crisis.” I started a new regimen since the first day of 2018 and because I’m eating healthier and exercising, somehow, I managed to stock up on energy I haven’t had in a long time.

Finally, at 4 AM, I go to sleep. I turn off the alarm on my phone. I plan to work beginning at 7 AM on Sunday but, of course, that’s not happening anymore.


I watch the same episode of Life.Church while in bed to get my morning started. A little later, I fall back to sleep and would not wake up until eleven.

My best friend arrives only a few minutes after I wake up and hands me a cup of Starbucks coffee. Yes! Coffee! Exactly what I need!

There’s not enough time in the day. I must do groceries now if I want to make it on time for the Golden Globes.

For dinner, I cook a rib-eye steak and roast brussel sprouts. The food is satisfying but what makes it better is eating it while Oprah kills it at the Golden Globes with her “Time’s up!” speech.

At 10 PM, I decide the only way to tire myself is to exercise.

Finally, the sleep cycle is improving. I can feel my body loosen up and give in to a nocturnal delight.


I wake up after 7 hours of sleep. I don’t feel well-rested but it will do for now. I have so much to do at work today and I don’t want to be late.

I pack my lunch — a salad I bought from Trader Joe’s the day before.

Protein shake for breakfast, salad for lunch,

This is where I learn my lesson. Too much of something, either good or bad, is bad.

I finished my salad but it did not bode well into my system — indigestion, ate too much too fast, lettuce-induced salad causes me gas — no matter what the reason is, I run to the bathroom, sweating profusely, fighting the nausea, and the rest I leave to your imagination.

Rest assured, this will not distract me from staying on the right track.

I overwhelm myself, probably, but all this is for my own good.

Right now, water is my best friend.

Weight List as of 1/8/18: 259 lbs

I started a week ago at 264 pounds. So far, I lost 5 pounds. Hurray!

Staying on track with my weight goals means having to do a sacrifices. It’s not really sacrifice if what I’m doing is for my own good. It means having to give up a pint of Haagen Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond, a big bag of Doritos, a bar of Lindt chocolate — a few of my favorite comfort albeit junk foods, and replacing them with a bowl of green salad, a 20-ounce bottle of smoothie, and a 30-minute daily exercise.

It’s choosing between what I want now and what I want most.

It’s all common sense, isn’t it?

Instant gratification or delayed gratification?

I pick the latter. It’s the least most of us would choose, human nature and all, but it’s what truly works for the best in the long run.